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Fiat Chrysler Automobiles: The next five years

Unless you've been living under a rock for the past 24 hours, you've no doubt read about all of the big future product news coming out of Fiat Chrysler Automobiles today. We had individual brand reports from Chrysler, Dodge, Jeep, Ram, Alfa Romeo, Fiat, Maserati and even Ferrari, but in the interest of simplifying and summarizing, we're going to list out the hard facts once more. Of course, with all of this still off in the future, there's still the possibility that a few changes will be made. But as of what we know right now, here's what's coming, and what's going away.
Chrysler
2014: Refreshed 300/300C, debuting at Los Angeles Auto Show

Dodge pulls New Girl and The Office stars for new Dart spots

Dodge is hoping that a heavy dash of humor helps it move some more units of the Dart with a hilarious ad campaign called Don't Touch My Dart. The spots star actors Craig Robinson, best known for his role as Darryl on The Office, and Jake Johnson from New Girl as neighbors and friends playing a game of one-upmanship over Robinson's new car. Johnson is envious of the ride and just wants to touch it.
The ads are pretty funny if you're a fan of somewhat absurdist humor, and Robinson has just the right amount of over-the-top seriousness to really make the commercials work. They have kind of a Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote vibe with Johnson constantly in inept pursuit of what he wants, but he clearly isn't getting it.
The first four spots in the campaign are already online, but according to Dodge this is just the beginning. The company says that it's planning about 24 different versions of these ads in various lengths to play on TV and online. You can check out the ads titled First Scratch, Birdhouse Police Garage Door and Voice Touching below, along with the brand's release about the new ads. There's also a pretty good gag on its YouTube page with Robinson protecting his Dart.

Watch this Dodge Viper get clawed to death

There's a scene in the James Bond movie, Casino Royale, where Daniel Craig's Agent 007 is captured by villain Le Chiffre, played by Mads Mikkelsen. Le Chiffre tortures Bond in a scene that is rather difficult to watch (especially for blokes) and impossible to describe on these digital pages (Google at your own risk). This video is the automotive equivalent of the Casino Royale torture scene.
It shows a Dodge Viper - a late, first-generation GTS judging by the center-exit exhausts - getting assaulted by a giant piece of heavy equipment. The large claw shows no mercy on the V10-powered sports car, rending its muscular curves into pieces and then running it over, just for good measure. It's a painful video to watch (and hear!), made worse because we don't know what the Viper did to deserve such a fate. About a third of the way through the video, the cameraman indicates that the man with the claw is a new operator from Chrysler, and it appears there may be some fire damage, but beyond that, we don't have much to go on.
Scroll down for the video but be warned, it isn't for the faint of heart.