2013 1.6l Sv Nissan Juke on 2040-cars

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Nissan Qashqai getting Juke-R treatment

As long as there are sacred cows, there will be heretics sharpening their knives in anticipation of the butchering. When Nissan first carved into the mighty GT-R to create the Juke-R, onlookers quickly fell into two camps: those who thought the plan was sheer genius and those who believed cannibalizing a GT-R to feed a Juke was a new brand of obscenity. We fell firmly in the former camp. Now Severn Valley Motorsport is looking to take that theme one step further by shoving the go-faster bits from a GT-R into a Nissan Qashqai. That noise you hear? It's us cackling like mad men.
While we can't say for certain, we're guessing the project should yield the world's fastest Qashqai thanks in no small part to the twin-turbocharged VR38DETT V6 engine from the GT-R. Throw in the all-wheel-drive system and the little CUV should change demeanor dramatically. We can't wait to see this thing in action.

2015 Nissan GT-R Nismo to hit 60 mph in 2 seconds?

Here's your daily dose of incredulity - AutoExpress is reporting the 2015 Nissan GT-R Nismo will hit 60 miles per hour in two seconds. Okay. The report comes from an unnamed source that AE spoke with at the Goodwood Festival of Speed, and would mean that the GT-R Nismo, a car that will likely sit below $150,000, will be able to outsprint (over short distances) a 1200-horsepower, $2.58-million Bugatti Veyron Super Sport.
Citing a more potent version of the GT-R's twin-turbocharged V-6 along with a healthy drop in weight, AutoExpress says that the performance is the result of the same group that helped develop the Juke Nismo, Williams Advanced Engineering. An unnamed engineer for Williams (it's not made clear if this is the same source from Goodwood) notes that there are improvements to be had "even with a car like the GT-R."
As exciting as the GT-R Nismo is going to be, we're having a hard time accepting that it will be able to hit 60 in two seconds flat, at least on street tires. What do you think? Have your say in Comments.

Nissan NV200 Taxi

"You're a long way from home!"
When I signed up to drive a pre-production version of the Nissan NV200 Taxi, I expected to have a higher-than-normal level of interaction with the public at large. However, while I was hoping for unsuspecting Ann Arborites to perhaps hail me down, or maybe even get a hop-in when stopped at an intersection, I didn't really think I'd be hassled in parking lots so much. And yet, almost as if all of the Dad-Joke energy in the universe was drawn to my tall, yellow ride, seemingly everywhere I parked I heard some iteration of the phrase above.
Har har, guys.